You’ve Got A Friend

It’s been a hard week for Steve and me. On Monday we learned that one of Steve’s friends took a fall that resulted in a broken neck and fractured skull. We visited his family Monday evening and walked through his studio. Ruffin was a large metal sculptor…an amazing artist and a gentle giant of a man. He was a member of Steve’s men’s group for many years. These guys meet twice a month to share deep and honest conversation about the stuff of life. They share a strong bond and loving kinship. On Tuesday evening the men’s group sat on our deck to share their grief and honor Ruffin’s life.

Last night as we were driving back from a wonderful day in the mountains. Basking in the beauty and joy and love we’d experienced, I received a call from my son Rusty telling me of the death of my dear friend Richard. I haven’t maintained close contact with many of my high school friends. Richard was the exception and I immediately felt the loss of his presence on this earth. We didn’t see each other often. We didn’t email or call. We just shared the same sense of connection we’d known since we were silly, confused teenagers. His smile and hug when we came together never changed and within that embrace I felt safety and acceptance and shared life that didn’t need words. His daughter Lisa and my son Rusty were high school sweethearts and remain soul friends. Richard and I felt lucky to have our families joined in this way. For Rusty, Richard was a father and trusted friend. I am forever grateful to Richard for the way he loved my son.

At times like these life becomes a collection of snapshots. Ruffin’s last visit in our home for Steve’s birthday party, his sculptured mobiles moved by a breeze and dancing overhead, his large hand on Steve’s shoulder as he said good night. My mind conjurs up pictures of Richard and I doing our thing at the Key Club Follies, and the treasured picture of our returning, years later as proud parents to that same R.J. Reynolds High School auditorium to watch Lisa sing (beautifully) and Rusty play drums (powerfully). Good snapshots!

But the picture that stands out evokes the lyrics of the history Richard and I share. James Taylor’s “You’ve Got A Friend” carried us through high school and college and around a world of travels and life experience back to North Carolina. Yeah, I have lots of great snapshots and beautiful memories and for the power of memory I am so grateful. But the picture that breaks my heart and also sustains me is of Richard and Lisa, heads touching, smiling as the camera is rolling and they’re talking with ease about Laurel Ridge. I watched that little segment of the campaign video over and over. I saw my childhood friend all grown up. Now a father grounded in a love he shared generously with his family, his church, his community, his mountain.

I’m going to play all of my old James Taylor records, have a good cry and be thankful for the deep and abiding awareness that I’ve got a friend.